Falsetto

Leeches cling to my chest and torso as I lash out,
Drowning joy beneath laughter I no longer trust.
Each gesture feels dramatized,
A performance I use to shield myself from attachment.

Toxicity is my defense—
My reaction to abandonment
Is starvation and molding armor,
Fiercer with every loss.

I watch parties from behind gated walls,
Soulless faces flirting and teasing on the other side.
Through their electric eyes,
I see a mirror reflecting fleeting lovers,
Each pursuit hollows louder than the last.

Foolish to think I could be the one
For an ambitious man so full of light.
And yet—
The way he wouldn’t let go of my hands,
The way we locked eyes and danced
Past midnight—
It consumed me.

I wanted to shatter the glass chessboard for him,
Engrave our names on the moon for all to see.
But he thought I was ashamed of our magnetic bond.
He grew bitter as my fears consumed me—
The fear of loving,
The fear of losing.

Now, I shove my feelings into a glove,
Hold his hand with a barrier between us.
His heart wanders,
Picking up a long-forgotten paintbrush.
He erases the portrait of us
And draws a life without me.